They say you can tell a lot about a person by their shoes. We’d argue you can tell far more by their home.

Your lounge, your kitchen and that one cupboard nobody is allowed to open all give you away. Find yourself below. No judgement. (Well, only a little.)

1. The Party Planner 

You’ll spot it by: a braai area bigger than the main bedroom, a fridge just for drinks, and 14 chairs for a household of three.

Your home isn’t really a home. It’s a venue. Your neighbours know your playlist and your bins tell the story of every weekend. You’ve said “just pop round, we’ll throw something on the braai” to a stranger.

Your dream feature: an outdoor entertainment area with a pizza oven, a built-in braai and enough plugs for the speaker, the fairy lights and the second freezer.

2. The Mari Kondo (Less is more)

You’ll spot it by: one couch, one plant and one very expensive candle that has never been lit.

Your kitchen counters are empty. Your cupboards are labelled. You own exactly six mugs, and you know where all of them are. Guests are afraid to put their glass down in case it ruins the look.

Your dream feature: hidden storage, and lots of it. Nothing on display, everything in its place.

3. The Handyman (Eventually)

You’ll spot it by: three paint samples on the lounge wall since 2023, a bathroom tap you’re “about to fix”, and a garage full of tools for projects you’re definitely starting soon.

You have a vision. It’s coming together. Eventually. Your favourite phrase is “you have to imagine it finished”.

Your dream feature: a renovated home with a weekend’s worth of jobs, not a year’s.

4. The Botanist

You’ll spot it by: a fiddle-leaf fig with its own name and more plants than furniture. The cat lives in fear.

You talk to them. They’re thriving. You check the forecast for their sake, not yours.

Your dream feature: north-facing windows, a sunny patio and a garden tap within reach of every pot.

5. The Master Chef

You’ll spot it by: a gas hob, six types of olive oil and a knife set you don’t let anyone else touch.

Your kitchen is the heart of the home, and you’re its head chef. Guests are welcome to help, by staying out of the way and pouring the wine.

Your dream feature: a scullery, a centre island and a pantry big enough to walk into.

6. The Neighbourhood Watch

You’ll spot it by: an electric fence, beams, cameras, a panic button in every room, and a gate code that changes more often than your passwords.

You know your armed response team by first name. The WhatsApp community group is your morning paper.

Your dream feature: a secure estate with a 24-hour gatehouse, so you can finally sleep with the bedroom window open.

7. The Pyjama Executive

You’ll spot it by: a ring light, two monitors, a “Do not disturb, I’m on a call” sign and a bookshelf arranged for video calls.

Your colleagues think you live in a library. In fact, the rest of the room is a laundry basket and a treadmill you hang clothes on.

Your dream feature: a dedicated study with good natural light, a door that closes, and fibre that never drops.

8. The Fur Parent

You’ll spot it by: dog hair on everything, nose prints on every glass door and a couch that technically belongs to the dog.

You chose your home for the garden, not the kitchen. Your dog has more toys than your children did, and the pets get the best spot by the fire.

Your dream feature: a big, secure garden, durable floors and a doggy door.

9. The hoarder/ Museum Curator

You’ll spot it by: a souvenir from every holiday, framed art on every wall, and that bowl from the Durban beachfront you’ll never part with.

Every shelf tells a story, and you’re happy to tell it. Allow two hours for the tour.

Your dream feature: high ceilings, long walls and built-in display shelves.

10. The Jet Setter

You’ll spot it by: a packed suitcase by the door, a cleaning service on speed dial and a garden that looks after itself.

You’re never home, and that’s the point. You chose your home so you could leave it.

Your dream feature: a low-maintenance home in a secure estate, Easy access to the airport.

So, which one are you?

Most of us are a mix: an Entertainer with a Minimalist’s hopes and a Work in Progress’s reality.

It doesn’t matter which you are. What matters is whether your home suits the way you live now. If you’re a Home Chef with a cramped kitchen, or a Remote Worker in the spare room next to the laundry, your next home could be a much better fit.

Thinking about your next move? Give us a call.
Phone: 078 340 5087 | Email: marussia@luxlivproperty.com

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